One Full Year of Clean

So tomorrow it will be a full year... phew.. a pretty crazy one...

i know i know... i'm killing it with these soberness updates... but its an ani... one full year yo

On April 10th last year... dropped everything... at once... had enough and did the ol' lightswitch move...

alcohol, smoking... caffeine... and all the other party favors... check... thank you... done...

how does it feel? lol... well fuck... its been rough... not so much because of the pull from the old ways... saying no was the easy part...

its the snowball effect... and the changes that come with it... its the emotions... once i got a taste... cutting off a negative influence... it became addicting (go figure) ...

completely revamped the diet... raw and organic...

instead of staying up till 5.... i wake up at 5...

workout is a part of the daily routine...

the taste in music is changing... taste in environments that i like to be in...

the taste in company... taste in relationships

i've chosen light instead of dark... lol... just kidding... not going there

i read a lot about addictions and recovery... there are stretches of good times... and there are stretches of black... it takes 2 years for the brain to get used to the new state... which isn't all that long... considering the pounding it took... in my case... over so many years...

what am i getting at... well... i'm not gonna say... i'm a new man... i recommend it etc. but i should... as i do feel amazing at times... i do get that body high after eating muesli with blueberries and nuts in almond milk for breakfast... after taking reishi mushrooms, he shou wu herbs and rooibos... after finishing the workout by 9...

i am more clear headed with each new day... knock on woo... i feel stronger too... i can tell... cuz i am cutting off links and influences that are not that easily cut... i am choosing what i think is right when the consequences are high... for the first time in a very long time... i look forward to things vs. being afraid... i look forward to waking up in the morning...

i'm going to continue this program... i think year 2 will be awesome... maybe i'll be settling into these new changes and cruising a smoother ride... improving each new day... maybe the doors i am closing will open up new ones... maybe the bonds with people that accept the new v will become stronger...

what is the best part of it all... it is watching it happen... in real time... its having strangers approach me and start conversations... its me offering to take photos of tourists on the seawall when i see them doing that one hand stretched self take... its having a beautiful girl smile at me and say hi... during day time... a similar kind of smile i used to get in a nightclub riding that e train... but so much better...

some other noteworthy changes... apartment is rearranged and tidy... closets cleaned out... i'm playing guitar and drawing... . i know i am close to being at peace when i am doing this... i know... because i have not done this for years... i am enjoying what i do for living... i am being productive again... finally...

ah all is good... either way... i'll try and post the developments... maybe it all blows up in my face tomorrow... maybe i become batman and start fighting crime one day...

i realize this is a strong swing in the opposite direction and that in time i'll find that true balance... hopefully

but in the mean time

peaceee

v